One Month In Tanzania so far...

Hello everyone!

I have officially been in Tanzania now for about 6 weeks, and feel quite settled in. The newest member of Pamoja, Kirsten from BC, Canada, just arrived on Tuesday who will be working on construction around the campus. It’s exciting to see the Pamoja family grow a little bigger, and frankly I’m stoked to have another single young woman on base with me :)

Raha has also been a fantastic constant companion,
which makes dealing with the negative effects of culture shock far less painful :)

my cubicle space in the office

Now that I am familiarized with life here, my days are also fairly scheduled, so I quickly dove into the project that I came to Tanzania for. On weekdays I work roughly from 9-5 on the financial literacy comics, which are a series of comic books to accompany an animated curriculum. The story follows a local East African man named Maswali (meaning “questions” in Swahili,) who learns basic financial concepts such as record keeping, budgeting, investing in banks, and good stewardship of finances in a way that both honors God and benefits their community. While culturally relevant, the stories also promote the importance of female education and loving marriages—awesome principles to encourage in a patriarchal society. For example, the name of Maswali’s wife is Upendo, which translates to “beloved.”

Maswali- screenshot from the animation

mockup of comics

original prototype comics

The past month been filled with lots of experimenting as we try to figure out economical yet aesthetically pleasing designs for the comics. I even had to learn some scripting in Photoshop, and rack my brains to do some mathematical calculations which would give us high image quality without using too much ink. Anyone who knows me fairly well understands that any type of math is my worst nemesis, so going through this is a big deal for me. Who knew that math and programming would come to haunt me in Africa? I also learned that while I may have increased my knowledge at USC in certain subjects, I definitely haven’t gotten any brighter at math.

finding ways to save ink through a bitmap filter (that's the little white dots)

cover design ideas

Thank you again to all my supporters, due all the prayers and contributions I was able to arrive in Africa with awesome equipment for Pamoja! -As you can see in some of these images, I’ve using the Cintiq, a high quality digital drawing tablet, to create designs for the comics!

Now that I am settled into Pamoja with a steady work schedule, it is tempting to remain in my Pamoja/missionary bubble and ignore the local culture that I came here to serve. As I have noticed whenever I travel abroad for extended periods, my introverted tendencies tend to emerge once I begin to pass the honeymoon stage of culture shock. I can hide in my apartment and read books, skype friends, or watch American movies; or I can push myself to learn more of the language, travel around Arusha, and interact with local Tanzanians.

Even though I often talk about how enriching it was for me to engage with local Italians while I lived in Florence, I also forget how difficult it is for me to go beyond what is culturally comfortable. It’s not comfortable for me to speak in broken Swahili, nor will it be comfortable for me to venture out to a local Swahili-speaking church. It is really not comfortable to be labeled “mzungu” (foreigner or white person) everywhere I go.

But Jesus’ ministry would not have been so revolutionary had He chosen to “love” the world from comfortable places. Jesus’ love is like no other because He is willing to share our pain, our laughter, and our lives. His love is unconditional despite fully understanding and enduring the brokenness of humanity. Likewise, I now need to ask myself—am I willing to share life with Tanzanians instead of recreating my own American bubble? It is a humbling and uncomfortable question.

So! Prayer requests for the upcoming week include:

Challenging myself: 
As mentioned above, I don’t want to remain in my cultural bubble. Please pray for courage to step into Tanzanian culture, faith that God will guide me, and grace/humility to deal with any differences/difficulties that I am sure to encounter.

Finding time for Jesus: Lastly, in the midst of everything it can be tempting to sleep until I absolutely must get up for work, or spend my evenings crashing in my apartment. Please pray that Christ will remain in the center of my life, and in everything I do here at Pamoja :)

And here are some more pictures that capture the past month here!

the Pamoja team went on a safari to Arusha National park the day after Christmas! 

standing on top of a mountain with Lucy and Angela (missionaries from Tanzania)

babboon

Natasha helping me draw for a book

I caught a sunbird the other day!

Sunset during our Nipe Jibu showing (a musical film from Pamoja)

the local church we showed the film at

Kwaheri kilamtu!

Finding a wealth of community and time

"And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment,  so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ,  filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God." Philippians 1:9-11

Mount Meru

(As I write this there is a huge African wasp buzzing around me in my cubicle so I'm a little antsy right now.) This past Wednesday evening marked my first complete week of being in Arusha, Tanzania! This also means that I am fully over jetlag, although God is good and it was quite easy for me to transition within the first few days. I think this really just means that I don't have an excuse to be lazy and tired anymore, haha.

sometimes I burn these wood chips that Ruby gave me

There are way too many things that I have seen and learned during the short time that I've been here, so here are two main observations thus far:

1. Community is rich here
First, thank you all so much for praying for me and my transition quite literally (11 hours difference from LA) to the other side of the world! As some of you may remember, finding community was something that I was worried about, but luckily for me, there are peoples of all cultures, ages, and backgrounds here so that I have landed myself in a rich community of resources, wisdom, and love. Admittedly, it is not the college community I am used to, but it's quite wonderful to sit at the feet of those who have generations of wisdom and insight to share. On the flip side, I've also had tons of opportunities to look at the world through a child's eyes again by hanging out with the missionary kids around campus.

Ben is obsessed with millipedes. I am not.

Dinner with the Radoslavovs

In addition to a diversity in generations, Pamoja is also composed of people from many, many backgrounds. Many of the American/Canadian missionaries here grew up as missionary kids in Africa. There are also two young women around my age from Kenya, which is really neat because African missionaries to African countries are very rare. I am particularly thankful for them because are something like culture bridge-builders for me; while they speak fluent Swahili and are African, they are also seeing Tanzania from an outsider's perspective and of my generation. (In my naiveté I didn't realize how different Kenyans and Tanzanians were.) Others are missionaries from Bulgaria and Australia, so you can imagine the wealth of cultures here! The goal is to one day have an international (not just Western) ministry.

going to Vineyard Arusha

baptism

2. I have time!
Since we live in a somewhat jungle-like area, it rains a lot. One day Sig, the executive director of Pamoja and I just finished chatting together when it began to drizzle. Raindrops started falling on the concrete steps where we were, and as I was about to return to my work Sig suddenly drew my attention to the dotted patterns the wet raindrops were making on the pavement. Some big, some little, some falling in triplets or doublets in random polka-dotted patterns. "Look how beautiful these droplets are." He said, "You can almost find constellations in them." Indeed they were extraordinarily beautiful, like a galaxy of tiny dark stars, and it was then that I realized what a gift of time I had been given when I came to Tanzania.

There is no way I would have even dreamed of stopping to watch raindrop patterns in my fast-paced Los Angeles (not like we really had rain until recently anyways). Here I have the time to read and learn from books, participate in community dinners, play with kids, journal, wake up early without feeling exhausted, go to market... the list goes on and on. I can participate in recreational activities that may not be goal-oriented at all, but are far more life giving in the long run.

Took a stroll around Lake Duluti last Sunday

collecting wood in the koko tinny (Swahili for pullpull cart) with Paul

Monday will be my second week of work here as I start on the Financial Literacy Comic series. I don't think I quite understood the impact of the project I was working on until I got here. For many, if not most Tanzanians, even concepts such as "supply and demand," "budgets," and good record keeping are foreign. I know my missions trip may not sound as glamorous as building houses and feeding "those poor starving African children," but as I've seen on skid row, systems like these often create dependency. It's cool to have the opportunity instead to give Tanzanians tools to better manage their finances and businesses themselves.

look at the Animation bibles they have here!!! :D

I'm thankful to be part of a ministry that doesn't pretend to know everything about Tanzania, but constantly takes the posture of a learner. Last Sunday Sig was noted how we (as Westerners) often think of love simply as being kind and gentle, but in Philippians Paul tells us to abound in love, with knowledge and discernment. My goals as a mzungu (foreigner) here is to learn as much of the culture as I can, because what I've learned from LAUP and Pamoja thus far is that missions and constant learning go hand in hand.

Anyways,  here are some more pictures of life in Pamoja. (You can also expect lots of pictures of animals because furry friends always make my life better.)

Pamoja's woodshop

Mt. Meru and Kilimanjaro are often hidden by clouds

RAHA THE DERPPP

Oops! The muffler fell off on the way to church today

Tasha being a shepard for the Christmas play today

Paul in his angel costume

con tanto amore,
Kayee

Habari Tanzania

I’m here! After nearly an entire year of talking about it, I’m finally here in Arusha, Tanzania living in the Pamoja headquarters. Today is my second full day at Pamoja and I am still trying to fight off jetlag from a 24 hour flight. Other than extreme sleepiness around 3-6pm, I am doing extremely well and the Pamoja staff have been so welcoming!

I didn’t realize what a beautiful country I would find myself in. I woke up the morning of the 4th to find myself in something like a jungle. I’m ashamed to admit that I don’t know very much about Africa other than what I’ve seen on National Geographic, Lion King, and picture books, so I was expecting to see rolling plains of dry grass, a big blue sky, and those iconic African trees here and there. But I completely forgot that I was living right at the base of Mount Meru and Mount Kilimanjaro, two of the tallest mountains in Africa- which make for much cooler weather.

banana trees on my way to the main area of campus

view outside my apartment

Living on the Pamoja campus feels like living in a botanical garden, but no one is going to tell me that I can’t climb trees (without good reason), or that I need to stay off the grass and mulch. There are no fences or hedges to keep me from smelling the flowers or eating the fruit. They have plumeria flowers, poinsettia trees, coffee plants, SO MANY bananas, papayas, almonds, avocados, hibiscus flowers, etc. 

mt. meru is behind there somewhere

banana trees

plumeria- the same flowers in Hawaii!

It’s also nice living in my own apartment for the first time in a while. While it is different from what I’m used to, the living arrangements (no AC, limited internet, finicky showers etc) aren’t so different from LAUP. Apparently my triplex used to be a medical center during world war II! I enjoy waking up earlier in the morning, reading, drinking some tea, and then going down to the Fesers for breakfast. 

I have my own vintage skeleton key

My new best friend Raja- a mixed german shepherd puppy

offices where I will be working

Overall, I really like it here so far! Everything smells like rain and the earth- the fresh air is a great change from the smog in Los Angeles. There are some things that I miss about LA, such as Jeremy, friends, family, high speed internet etc., but I think it’s going to be an awesome 6 months ☺

Pamoja 

Being needy for the Kingdom

La Jolla sunset from this past weekend :3

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom. (Proverbs 11:2)

I can touch on a lot of things that God has used to check my pride in the past few weeks, but having to fundraise definitely takes the cake. Growing up in an Asian-American household has taught me to fiercely value individual and financial independence, and maybe keep Jesus somewhere in the loop if you're Christian. I get the filial responsibility mindset from my Chinese heritage, and the self-supporting independence from my American roots. Combined, I was taught to always put myself and family first (sometimes even at the cost of God and others). I too, want a stash of life-trophies that can show off my successes and charitable deeds. But when I look at Jesus, the world's definition of a failure, He completely reverses that ideology and forces me to rely on the grace of God and others instead of myself. There needs to be less of me in order for there to be more of Him. This has got to be one of the tougher lesson God has been drilling in me. 

Anyone who has gotten to know me knows that I hate anything or anyone being needy, so submitting to this position God asks of us in is such a daily battle! However, the reality of the gospel means learning to rely on God's grace for everything. After all, Jesus was the homeless, social reject who even told His disciples to "take nothing for their journey except a staff- no bread, no bag, no money in their belts- but to wear sandals and not put on two tunics" (Mark 6:8-9) I mean like wow holy bananas at least I'll be living off $12,000 and two suitcases. Talk about being needy for the kingdom.

But being needy comes with it's coolness factor, I guess. Because when I start being needy/dependent on Christ, I start allowing Him to work in amazing ways. When I grow discouraged I like to think of a priest named George Muller, who founded an orphanage that housed 1,722 children. Determined to rely solely on prayer and faith, he never asked for financial support, and never went into debt. There is a famous instance in which one morning, there was no food for the orphans but they prayed anyways as normal. Once they finished the baker knocked on the door with bread for everyone because he felt God prodding him to do so the night before. One of my favorite quotes of his is: "Faith does not operate in the realm of the possible. There is no glory for God in that which is humanly possible. Faith begins where man's power ends." How cool is that? How cool is God?

Although in a far less dramatic way, this is also a lesson I learned during the Los Angeles Urban Project (LAUP) when we all lived off $35.00 a week each. It was so little, it made us realize that when we are provided for, it was out of God's grace because we had no means to do so ourselves. Having daily reminders of God's provision was so life-giving, even though from a material standpoint we had much less than we were used to. Only in these situations can I truly understand what Paul means when he says in 2 Corinthians "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord." And I know, that with every blessing, every provision is a gift from God because I have so little control over my life right now. In this moment, had I been able to provide for myself and my family, it's so likely that I would let my own tiny victories cloud God's eternal glory. 

So, like many other recent grads in the millennial generation, I constantly find myself asking the same question: "Why am I broke?" "What am I doing with my life?" The bad news is, I don't really have an idea! But the good news is that I know God does, that He provides, and will continue to provide. 20th century song-writer Bill Gaither's hymn Because He Lives says: "Because I know He holds the future, and life is worth the living, just because He lives." And if I really believe that what the Bible says is true, I want to live every day like I really believe that God is enough for me, that being needy for the Kingdom is truly worth it.

love, me :)

It's Happening!

Hello friends! Well, I did it- I finally booked my ticket to land in the Kilimanjaro airport to Arusha, Tanzania!

My flight is set for December 2, and I will be returning early June of 2015. While I am resting from my wisdom teeth surgery last week, I am busying myself with book illustrations, getting documents together for my arrival in Tanzania, and fundraising. And as always before I go abroad somewhere for a lengthy amount of time, I can't really wrap my mind around the fact that in a month, I will be wandering somewhere in the land of giraffes. Here are some prayer requests that I have for the week:

1. Although everything else is wrapping up nicely, due to much transition I haven't had much time to dedicate to fundraising. As a result, I am still about $6,000 short of my $12,000 budget (Tanzania is a lot more expensive to live in than you'd expect.) Please pray that God will provide for the remaining funds (as He always does), and that I will continue to have faith in Him in the meantime.
2. Pray about whether or not you might be an answer to that prayer by partnering with me financially (donation link here: http://rpecinternational.org/donate/)
3. Pray about my faith, that I will continue to rely on God's strength, not my own, and His wisdom, not my own. Especially post-graduation it is easy for me to see Tanzania as my own self-realization trip instead of a partnership and service to Jesus. I need to "press on towards the goal" (Philippians 3:14)
4. That I will have ample time to say goodbye to friends and family in Los Angeles before I leave. Part of the challenge of going to Tanzania for so long is that I know I will eventually become very homesick for LA and my friends here. This city has been my home for the past 4 years and doesn't feel quite right to fly off without a proper goodbye. 

from Skid Row to Santa Monica - everything about LA is beautiful to me

Spending time with Jesus: Post-Grad Version
In the meantime, I have been reflecting on my post grad life, which can be summed up into 3 different sections so far: post-graduation, the Los Angeles Urban Project, and pre-Tanzania. Aside from my participation in InterVarsity's Los Angeles Urban Project, it has been very difficult to maintain my spiritual life, and it is only talking to a wise mentor that I realized why this was. Life with Jesus isn't meant to be spent alone, throughout the Bible, starting from Genesis, to Kings, to Paul's letters, to the churches mentioned in Revelations, being a Christian is meant to take part in community.

While I was at USC, I was surrounded by community- my Christian sorority, InterVarsity, the United House of Prayer, etc. I also lived with my accountability partner, whose encouragements to me as a sister was invaluable. Within community I was challenged, pushed to grow, and held accountable for my walk with Jesus. The Los Angeles Urban Project provided me with the same strong community that constantly reminds me of how awesome Jesus is.

all my favorite people #ivtcf

Outside of college, not so much- it's easy to lose the convictions that I held onto so strongly in college. Our culture is full of reminders of how awesome I can be, if I do the right things, work the right job, look the right way, say the right things. It's easy even to twist my trip to Tanzania as something that glorifies myself, not the God who inspired me and challenged me to take this leap of faith. Living apart from community is like fighting a battle uphill because so many things in our culture pushes me to live for myself, when Jesus pushes us to live for others and for Him.

Thankfully, although I am quite the nomad for a while until Tanzania, God has really blessed me by giving me a place to stay at my aunt's, and at my friend Becky's in Los Angeles. In these two places I am able to witness daily the joy that radiates from a household of whom Christ is head. The selflessness that these two families have shown me is a constant encouragement and reflection of the love I experience from Jesus. Furthermore, my aunt is amazing in requesting that we do daily morning devotions together- it's like having a workout buddy who will drag you to the gym on the days when you really don't want to go.

So all in all, I am doing well, a little nervous about the trip, but gradually learning now to manage my many free hours wisely, and keep Jesus in the center of everything I do. It's a struggle, but by now I've pretty much learned that everyday is a day on the strugglebus. :) A note to self is to place finding community as #1 priority when I get to Tanzania. I know that it has made all the difference to me while I lived in Italy!

TZ bucketlist: to walk into a view like this- too hopeful?

p.s. hit me up if you want to hang out before I peace out of the country!

Post Grad and Pre Tanzania Thoughts

Hmmm, so much has happened within the past few months that I am not sure where to begin. I’m currently sitting near a coffeeshop by the Walt Disney Concert hall typing out my thoughts, and it is strange to think that in barely a little more than a month I should be hopping on the plane to somewhere far, far away-

my view of the Disney Concert Hall in downtown LA

Like Arusha, Tanzania! Although I am trying my best, I don’t know how well I am actually balancing post-grad life, a new relationship, and preparing for a 6 month trip to a very foreign country. Throw in a cousin’s wedding in Toronto, wisdom teeth surgery, couch surfing for months, illustrating a children’s book, and fundraising for more than 10k, and you have a very curious mix of what has been my life for the past 3 months.

sharing about my trip at CAC in North Carolina :)

By far the most challenging aspect of post-grad life and transitioning thus far is maintaining my faith and keeping a steady grip on my beliefs. Without my community of ADX, Intervarsity, and the safe student bubble of USC, it is difficult to remain disciplined and on the move- much less constant in my spiritual walk. It is too easy for me to become so focused on my missions trip to Tanzania that I forget the purpose behind it- which is to spread the hope and love found in Jesus.

derping with my (not so) baby cousin in Toronto

Then again, I think that just goes to show how we live in a society that forces us to work so hard we forget what our original dream was. I guess, when it comes down to it all, I need to keep remembering that my going to Tanzania is a step in faith, trusting that for whatever reason, God has called me to Tanzania right now.

finally settled down (a little) in San Diego with some tea, cakes and fruits

In the midst of all this transition though, I have really grown to appreciate the relationships and mentors who have helped me hold on to who I knew myself to be creative, driven, with strong beliefs and occasionally quite spontaneous and random in my preferences.

Prayer requests in the next month include prayers for my safety in Tanzania, fundraising (currently at a little over 50%), and a steady walk with Jesus.

<3 Kayee